God is in the Waiting
How we are Redeeming This Form of suffering
This morning I found out my HCG did not rise as much as I’d hoped it would. It did rise. The baby could still be ok. But I feel like I keep getting news that is just ok, not necessarily good. And so the waiting continues.
But God is in the waiting.
Yesterday, as I was editing the reflections I wrote on the Gospel of John, I was struck by how much I’m writing to myself as much as to anyone else. It turns out I needed to hear some things that I wrote months ago, and I wanted to share them with you.
In John 19:10, Jesus said to Pontius Pilate : “You would have no power over me unless it had been given you from above.” And I wrote this: “The Father has not allowed anything in our lives to touch us that has not already passed through His hands. He has touched everything ahead of time, already knowing well in advance how to use our own weakness, sin, and suffering to bring about great goodness in our lives and the whole world.”
It’s funny how easy it is to forget. I hadn’t even considered that through this entire pregnancy. My Father knows exactly what I am going through, what is happening, and what will happen. And dear, dear, friends, He is not a vengeful, punishing God. He is a loving Father. We could talk about the problem of evil all day, but in the end, it comes down to this: God is who He says He is. He is a God who waits for us, a God who protects us, a God who mourns when destruction comes upon us. He is a God who stands in the gap for us, takes on our sin for us, and delivers us from evil. He is an all-powerful God who doesn’t use His power to force His way into our lives, but gives us freedom to love and to choose. And so, He is a God who allows the bad to happen. But He doesn’t sit idly by while we endure the wages of sin (death, Romans 6:23). Instead, He uses His power to bring good out of any and all circumstances. He will bring good out of the suffering in your life, if you let Him. And He will bring good out of this baby’s life.
Someone (lovingly) suggested that I let my experience bless others. I hope that I’m doing so by sharing, but I was also reflecting about it this morning. My baby may live only for a very short time on this earth. No one may ever actually meet her. But her life has meaning. Her life is a blessing, just by her existence. How can I help it to be even more so?
I believe strongly in the power of redemptive suffering. Suffering never has to happen for its own sake. We can surrender, and give it as an offering to God. When we do this, it opens up great channels of grace onto the world because suffering offered to God is one of the most powerful forms of prayer.
So, friends, while I ask you to continue to pray for our little one and for us, I also ask you, how can we pray for you? As we wait to learn more, as we wait to see what God has in store for this little one, how can we offer up our waiting and anxieties for you?
Thank you for your love and prayers. Let our baby be a blessing for you. Let us pray for you.
Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash